Sunday, January 25, 2009
FORTUNATE ENOUGH?
our process for the steamboat(: i like the pattern to cute luh. look like erasers!
we were passing time as usual and we decided to see how we looked in short hair. hahaha after i cut my hair super short when i was 7, i told myself NEVER EVER to cut short hair but you never know!
I think i'll only enjoy today's steamboat with Aunty Barbara as she's just so genuine and real, and she gives from her heart, compared to people who share the same family tree as me. I sure can look forward to eating(my favvvvv), and then worry about losing weight.
Oh wow, CNY is finally here, tmr marks lots of visitings. Honestly, i'm dreading it. Sometimes i wish i do not have relatives and just hang out with people/strangers whom i'm not even related to not get so agitated. I don't want to see certain people whom bring back bad memories, i don't want to feel hurt again, i don't want to be rejected, i don't want to be reminded of how much we were taken advantaged of over and over again. Year after year, it never changes. I'm quite certain every family has their own problems but i just have no more eyes left to see, or mayb i've grown older and can finally understand what injustice is going on but can i do anything? nah, i've got to keeep burying my head in prayers cause i know one day i won't have to see them and endure such rubbish. They don't get tired taking advantage of people, do they? They just love showing off and they always think they are right no matter how ridiculous they might sound. Sometimes, i really wish they would just vanish and it might be better off not having such so called 'relatives' (esp if they dont even treat you like one). It's the truth, it hurts. Self denial? Definetly. I should really pity you because you don't even know what you're doing and the worse thing is that you do know God, yet you do not act a bit like a Child of God, always acting in your own childish and self-centered ways.
I'm just not in a good mood and i really really really wish i could skip CNY. Honestly, i'm just doing it for the sake of money and i'm not embarrased to say that because i rather not be a hypocrite. I don't need your pretencious care and concern which is just for show. WO BU SI HAN NI DE QIAN HUO NI DE JIA XIN!!! Times have changed and so did people and things. The fact is that it won't get any better, it'll only get worse.
Oh Lord, help me to forgive and forget like how i'm supposed to,
it's just so easy to say but to difficult to mime,
But to know what you've been through cannot be compared,
to what i'm going through-be it being angry, fedup or sad.
Meagan left her fingerprints
@ 4:48 PM
